


Dancing 1:  With Brothers like these...

by Teague (macteague)



Series: Dancing [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-25
Updated: 2001-12-25
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macteague/pseuds/Teague
Summary: Bill Weasley sets out to solve one problem and ends up with a whole lot of problems.





	Dancing 1:  With Brothers like these...

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older story, originally posted Dec 15, 2001. As all of canon wasn't even written at this time, this needs to be considered very, very AU. :)
> 
> Your first reaction may be that Percy is out of character here, but I swear there was (way too much) thought put into why Percy, out of school and trying to get his balance both in his job and in being an adult, might be ready to take a few risks. He's been doing what he thought people wanted him to for so long, that he's having a bit of teenage rebellion a little later than most. So he maybe went a little overboard.
> 
> Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the characters and entire backstory of this. Not mine, not using them for profit, merely for entertainment and to increase my writing skills. Consider this a sincere form of flattery. Also please note that there is copious use of alcohol in this story. The author not only does not endorse this but also points out that in real life the results of spiking someone's drink would vary between the person making a fool of themselves, throwing up, and possibly alcohol poisoning. Decidedly un-funny, and a good way to lose a friend.

"I was wondering, dear, if you and Charlie would mind doing something with Percy while you're here," Molly Weasley said gently to her oldest son.

Bill looked at her in confusion. "We always do something with Percy when we're here! Gives us an escape from Fred and George!" He made a face, thinking of their latest prank, which had left him with zebra stripes in his hair for 6 hours. He liked all of his siblings, truly he did.... But Fred and George could be a bit much for extended periods of time. In their final year of Hogwarts, they didn't seem any more mature than when they'd entered it!

"I know dear, I just mean..." his mother hesitated. "Did he mention to you that he and Penny broke up?"

"Did they?" Bill couldn't restrain his grin. Like most of the family, he cordially detested the girl. And what's more, he'd suspected for a while now that Percy dated her more out of habit than any particular affection.

He got a reproving look from his mother. "Now I know you didn't like her dear, but I think poor Percy is really upset. He's been so reserved lately." she fussed. "I thought perhaps he'd be more likely to talk to the two of you about it."

_Reserved? Percy? How can she TELL!_  "Okay, mum, we'll take him out with us tonight and give him the opportunity to discuss his heartbreak," he said flippantly. Mrs Weasley looked at him as though she were re-thinking the wisdom of her plan and walked away muttering quietly to herself.  _The chances of actually getting Percy to discuss his feelings about anything personal are actually lower than getting struck by lightning while I sit here I think. Unless..._  Bill went to look for Charlie, having come up with what he thought was quite a brilliant plan.

  


* * *

  


At Charlie’s suggestion, he and Bill had gone out that afternoon to pick up a few purchases. At dinner that night, they invited Percy to go out with them. Since they usually went off to see a play or something at one point during the holidays, Percy accepted without suspicion. Upon being bluntly informed that they were not invited, Fred and George managed to pull more pranks at dinner that night than in the last three days, which was saying something! Eventually, even Harry’s smile was forced, and Ron, pushed beyond bearing, attempted to go over the table to murder Fred. In the resulting furor Charlie grabbed Percy by the arm and the three of them fled to get ready.

When Percy came out of his room, Bill inspected him carefully.  _Dress pants, white shirt, and his old robes._ "No, that will never do." He said firmly. Percy looked down on his clothes with puzzlement. They served him perfectly well at work, and he clearly couldn't imagine why they'd find fault.

"Where are we going?" he questioned, looking at his brothers warily.

"Merlin's"

"Merlin's??!" Percy squawked, taking in their outfits a bit more clearly. "The new dance club place? Really, perhaps you two should go on ahead - "

Bill watched his younger brother try to squirm out of the outing with great amusement. Charlie handed him the outfit they’d bought earlier that day, pushed him back into his room, and shut the door. "You've got 5 minutes little brother, or we come in and dress you ourselves," he said, grinning at Bill.

"Going with the 'don't give him time to think' approach, are we?" Bill asked, keeping his voice down.

"Well, have we EVER succeeded in talking Percy into doing something he didn't want to? As I recall, your method used to be to put him in a headlock and drag him wherever he was supposed to go" Charlie's voice was wry, and Bill had to smile. Being the oldest child in this family had been a lot of work, and what could he say... what he'd lacked in finesse he'd more than made up for in efficiency. And he was rather relieved they weren't going to have to immobilize Percy and levitate him to the bar, which had been his backup plan.

When Percy opened the door and stepped out he looked profoundly uncomfortable. He tended to wear robes over his ordinary clothes most of the time. Now he was dressed in simple Muggle fashion, and Bill had to admit Charlie had good taste.

Percy stood there in a pair of black jeans and a tight blue T-shirt.  _Quiet, understated, and brings out his eyes nicely._

"Where did you get these?" he asked them.

"Merry Christmas," Charlie grinned at him. "They’re part of your Christmas present."

Percy looked torn. "They’re very nice, but really I don’t think that –"

"We didn’t think you’d want to stand out in the crowd, and when I went through your closet you didn’t seem to have anything suitable." Charlie interrupted him.

Distracted, Percy stared. "You went through my closet?"

Charlie already had hold of Percy by one shoulder and Bill reached out and grabbed the other as they marched back into the bedroom. "Now just sit here, I’ll fix your hair, and then we’re off" Charlie said briskly, pulling out the hair gel and ignoring Percy’s protest. Within minutes the short hair was arranged in a nice spiky look, and Percy wore a particularly mournful look.

Charlie was right. He looks completely different. He should get a reasonable amount of attention, even if he insists on hiding in a corner somewhere.

"C’mon, let’s get our coats and get out of here before the twins realize we’re missing," he said to Percy. As expected, the mere thought of being seen by his brothers in this outfit sent Percy scurrying for the door without the slightest complaint.

  


* * *

  


They got in at Merlin’s before the crowd, after a short delay when the bouncer turned out to be an old friend of Charlie's. But swiftly enough they managed to get seated and order their first round. Bill and Charlie stuck to their usual drinks, but got their brother's spiked with something a bit stronger, as per the plan. As Bill had expected, it went straight to his head. They kept him distracted with funny stories, in hopes that he wouldn't notice anything.

He relaxed quickly, and chatted amiably about a variety of neutral topics for a good half-hour, before he somewhat shakily set down his mug and said, "Why are we here?"

_Oh, gods no! Don't tell me my brother is a philosophical drunk!_  "Err... well, no one really knows that Percy - " he began lamely.

Percy shot him a look that read suspiciously like 'you idiot' and waved his hand around the room "Why are we HERE, not why are we here" he stated with the firmness of the slightly tipsy.

_Oh, thank goodness._  "Well, you broke up with Penny, Mum thinks you're pretty broken up about it, so we figured, best cure is to take you out, get you drunk, and see if you can't find a new girl" he grinned at his brother, without bothering to pretend. Charlie looked at him and shook his head, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

"Why would I want a new one; it took me three years to get rid of the last one!" exclaimed Percy in honest dismay. Charlie sat up abruptly.

"You don't sound upset about breaking up with Penny..." Bill trailed off cautiously... he couldn't believe they were getting this much information out of his reticent brother.

"Why would I be upset? It was all a dreadful mistake anyway " Percy frowned at his empty glass and Bill quickly signalled the waitress to bring him another.

_Dating Penny was a mistake? Well, we all knew that, but I'm not sure he means it the same way we do..._  He waited till the waitress had come and gone before prompting " A mistake?"

Percy took a couple gulps before answering, causing Bill to wince at the thought of the headache his brother was going to have the next day. "Oh, it was dreadful," said Percy, looking over at them guilelessly "I was on my way to meet him and she asked me out, and I thought what could it hurt? Next thing I know, Ginny's telling everyone we're dating!"

"You weren't dating?" Charlie asked, clearly bewildered.

Percy frowned in concentration. "Err... we went out a couple times, I wasn't intending to do so again, but she kissed me, and Ginny saw, and then next thing I know, everyone thought we were dating. And Penny was so happy it would have been cruel to tell people we weren't… 'sides, there wasn't anyone I wanted to date that wanted to date me, so it was okay then."

_I need a translator. Okay, they went out a couple times. She was serious, he wasn't. Before he can tell her he doesn't want to see her anymore, she kisses him. Ginny saw the kiss and misinterpreted the situation. Rather than hurt her feelings -_ "You dated her for THREE years because you didn't want to hurt her feelings?"

Charlie looked as incredulous as Bill felt. "Little brother, you know you're insane, right?" he blurted.

Trust Charlie to say the exact wrong thing

"Err... not insane. All makes perf- perf-" Percy broke off with a mild giggle "-makes sense. Nobody asking awkward questions and I figured, she'd be bored of me in a month. Not exactly exciting conversationalist"

"But she didn't get bored - " Bill prompted, wondering where on earth this was going. … _and awkward questions? How boring does he think he is anyway? I admit he can go on at length about obscure, dull subjects, but that doesn’t mean he never talks about interesting things…_

Percy smiled at them happily, apparently oblivious to how much he was giving away. "No. Damnedest thing I ever saw... I take her on dates to read dusty scrolls that are too boring for even the librarian to read, and she tells me how much she admires my intellect. I tell her I don't think we know each other well enough for kissing, she tells me I'm sweet! I arrive 10 minutes late for every date, and she just starts telling me to come 10 minutes early! Doesn’t even get mad. And He used to tease me about her, not mean like George and Fred though, so I thought 'okay, whatever, when we graduate she'll go away', if it gives him something to talk to me about, small price to pay. Only she didn't go away and she wanted to get MARRIED! " The last word was spoken with all the horror of a man about to be tortured to death.

Charlie had his head down on the table he was laughing so hard, and Bill found himself having a hard time keeping a straight face. A drunk Percy was a terribly honest Percy evidently. "So you broke up with her when she - what, when she proposed?" he said, attempting to keep all traces of laughter out of his face, as Percy was regarding Charlie quizzically, clearly confused as to what was so funny.  _Only Percy could manage to get in a situation like this. And Mum thinks the TWINS get themselves into too much trouble._

"No, knew she was working her way to the proposal... been clear for months that she was trying to get me to propose. " Now Percy looked bleak. "Had to tell her there was someone else. At least that way she could hate me and put the blame where it belongs. Should have told her in the first place - she wasn't him-" he stared down at the table.

Well, that explains what he was upset about... and who the hell is 'Him'?

Bill glanced at Charlie to see if he'd recovered enough to go ahead in the questioning. He was sitting up again and looking sympathetically at his younger brother. If he'd dated her for three years to avoid hurting the girl's feelings, it must have been horrible for him to lie to her to break it off.

"Must've been rough having to lie to her like that," Bill prompted gently.

"Should have just told her a long time ago, it would have hurt her feelings less." Percy looked up at them tiredly, "I don't want to talk about this."

"Percy, really you chose the best way possible to break it off with her. You couldn't have done anything more!" piped up Charlie.

_Well, actually, he should have just told her in the first place, he's right. But he needs to move on from this._  "Sounds like a miserable thing to have to do, but you did the responsible thing and let her go. Now you just have to try to forget about her and move on." Bill said firmly. "And have another drink" he added as he flagged down the waitress again. Charlie was staring at him somewhat incredulously.  _What did he and Mum expect? I'm good at logic and curse-breaking.... not healing the emotional wounds of others for pity's sake!_

Percy shot him a wry look and downed half his drink in one gulp.  _He is going to be in serious pain tomorrow. Distract him AND get this nagging question answered._  "Percy..."

"Yeah?"

"Who's 'He'" asked Bill, making sure to use the same unspoken capitalization he'd noticed Percy use. To his great amusement, his brother nearly choked and turned bright red.

"He?" squeaked Percy.

You've got to be kidding me... this is something he has to be even drunker to talk about? 'Cause this is as drunk as he's getting. Tipsy is one thing, passing out is another. I didn’t think it would hit him quite this hard!

"Yeah, you know, when Penny asked you out, you were going to meet Him for something. And when you were dating, it gave Him something to talk to you about..."

He watched Percy closely, as he hesitated, taking another drink.  _He’s stalling…_

"Hey, you know that bouncer at the door?" broke in Charlie.

Bill stared at him.  _What on earth is he doing? If I'm not mistaken this might be important information and he decides to chat about his old school chum?_

"He was the one- I don't know if they still talked about this when you were there Percy, before your time, but he was the one who created the tutu spell."

"The tutu spell?" queried Percy with a puzzled look.

"That was HIM?" Bill couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. Of all the people he'd gone to school with he would never have expected WALLACE of all people - "It wasn't him that put it on Snape?"

Percy's head snapped around to stare at Bill for a second before asking Charlie with a hint of scandalized laughter in his voice "He put this Tutu spell on SNAPE and -"

"That's right little brother. There stood Snape in a pink tutu at the front of the class. He kept banishing it, and Wallace kept re-spelling him. Everybody knew who it was and nobody would tell... we all had detention for a MONTH after that... but oh, it was worth it!" Charlie was barely able to finish the sentence for laughing, and Percy was cracking up at the mental image. Bill just shook his head, smiling.  _Wallace. Suddenly I have a lot more respect for him!_

"So anyway, sorry to interrupt, I just remembered that all of a sudden and felt a strange urge to share. Who was it you were talking about again?" Charlie asked Percy cheerfully.

Still snickering, Percy answered without thinking "Oliver."

Oh! Damn, Charlie is much better at this than I am.

"Oliver Chance?" asked Charlie with an air of confusion.

"Oliver Chance?" Percy protested, sitting up straight "Good heavens no, he's old. Oliver Wood."

_OLD? Oliver Chance is a year younger than Charlie!_  "Oliver Wood. Isn't he a reserve player for one of the Quidditch teams?"

"Puddlemere United," Percy replied promptly, with considerable pride.

_Uh huh... I'm thinking Penny was even more wrong for Percy than we thought! He was dating her though, so I never considered it._  "Oh yeah, was he Gryffindor?" he asked casually.

Percy nodded enthusiastically "Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team."

_Well, he aims high, doesn't he! The Head Boy and the Captain of the Quidditch team... sounds like some flaky romance novel._  Just as Bill opened his mouth to say something, a witch of his acquaintance sat herself down on the bench beside Percy. "Chelsea?!" Bill blurted in surprise.

"Haven't seen you guys for a while," she said cheerily. "How've you been?"

Normally Bill would have been delighted to see her, but this was rather more important. Stifling his impatience, he replied "Oh I'm fine. Home for the holidays, and fleeing my home for some peace and quiet as usual." He didn’t ask how she was, hoping she’d take the hint and go away.

She shot him a mischievous look before turning to Charlie, causing him to wonder if he'd done as good a job at hiding his annoyance at the interruption as he'd thought. "How 'bout you Charlie?"

Charlie, who'd more or less had a crush on her for his entire stay at Hogwarts, blushed crimson, much to the amusement of both his brothers. "Oh - I'm fine. Holidays and all" he managed to get out, looking at her with evident admiration. Chelsea preened as always under his regard. As far as Bill could tell, she had no intention of ever getting in a serious relationship with Charlie, but she remained the only one who could get to Charlie like this.

She turned to Percy then and smiled. "And I'm guessing this is the third Wesley brother? I'm sorry I don't know your name, Charlie just refers to you as his 'little brother'...."

Percy gave her a cheerful grin and answered, "Yes, he's been doing that since he was 10, trying to make sure Mum got the point that he should be at Hogwarts with Bill, not home with the babies."

Charlie made a protesting sound, but Percy continued right over him. "I don't mind though, it's the only nickname I have. I'm Percy."

Chelsea was obviously charmed. "Oh you are just so cute! And you've got such gorgeous blue eyes. How'd you manage that when both your brothers have brown eyes?"

"Recessive gene" came Percy's prompt reply.

Chelsea laughed, and reached for his hand. "Come dance with me, Percy Weasley."

Percy blinked at her. "Oh I don't know if I should do that. I really am very in- ineb - drunk." he said, looking up at her innocently.

"I promise not to take advantage of you," grinned Chelsea. Bill snickered.

"Oh, okay then," Percy said cheerfully, and the two of them departed, leaving an amused Bill and outraged Charlie behind at the table.

"She - He- Percy's not supposed to go off with CHELSEA" Charlie spluttered.

"Relax Charlie, I don't think Percy's interested in her. Not to mention he's WAY too young for her." Bill said. "Besides, am I the only one who got the impression he's a bit hung up on this Oliver Wood? Which would suggest," he paused and gave his brother a very serious look "that you should be safe, unless there's something I don't know about Chelsea?"

Charlie choked and stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. When he got himself back in control all he said was "Good point."

Bill turned back to the dance floor to locate the pair.  _He really IS sloshed, and since it IS my fault, I better make sure he's okay. There - Percy can dance?_ He gaped at the dance floor where his younger brother was more than keeping up with Chelsea, drawing admiring looks from the other dancers.

"Percy took the same dance lessons we all did, didn't he?" Charlie asked, looking shell-shocked.

"Yes" breathed Bill in disbelief.

"Then WHERE" Charlie drew a breath as if for strength, "where did he learn THAT? We learned to waltz, foxtrot, and various other strange things you need to do at weddings and formal events. We did NOT learn to dance like THAT - " he gestured at his wildly gyrating brother with a look of utter bafflement.

"Well, when he comes back, we'll have to ask him," Bill said, the shock fading to amusement.  _I know Percy did well in Dance class, but apparently, he really likes dancing. Though I don't know where or when he learned this!_

  


* * *

  


Unfortunately, Percy did not come back to the table when the dance ended. One of Chelsea's friends stepped in. To his brothers' startled entertainment, it was, in fact, more than an hour before Percy returned to the table, as he was abruptly much in demand as a dance partner. Finally though, he returned, seating himself on the bench across from them with a sigh and reaching for his glass.

"So where exactly did you learn to dance like that?" Bill asked.

Percy shrugged. "Around. Not used to dancing with people though, I usually only dance when no one’s home." He was swaying in his seat a little, but smiled happily as he took a sip of his drink.

_I am not going to get the mental image of Percy having a dance party of one in our living room. I am not. I am the oldest brother of seven children. I can do this._  Bill managed to keep the smile on his face restrained "Well, you are certainly talented at it."

Percy looked surprised and pleased at the compliment, actually blushing slightly. "Err... Thanks"

You know, maybe we really haven’t spent enough time with Percy, if he’s surprised by even the most casual compliment. And I can’t remember ever having seen him this relaxed.

"So are you going to tel-" Charlie began, only to be interrupted by an extremely pretty girl who all but threw herself at Percy, squealing "Percy! There you are!" Charlie stared in shock, which Bill heartily sympathized with. This was just getting weird. "Come on… you’ve only danced with me once, and you danced THREE times with Chelsea… PLEASE come dance with me?"

She all but batted her eyes at him! Well, getting him a new girlfriend would evidently NOT be a problem, if he only actually WANTED one.

Percy shrugged helplessly at his brothers as he rose and followed her down to the dance floor. Charlie snickered. "If we don’t keep an eye on him he’ll be ‘accidentally’ dating half the women here!" he said.

Bill shook his head, watching as his brother launched into another dance with this girl, who was still giggling and making eyes at him.  _Is it the hair, the clothes, or the dancing? Or just the completely unguarded air. I didn’t expect this. I thought we’d just sit here and drink and talk… I’ve unleashed him on the general populace entirely without his usual defences._ He couldn’t help feeling a bit uneasy about all of this. A glance at the floor showed him Percy dancing with twins, one female, and one male.  _Okay… I need a better plan…_

Chelsea abruptly blocked his view, sitting down in Percy’s vacated seat. "Having fun boys? I notice you’re not dancing…"

"We’ve been shown up by our little brother and are consoling ourselves with drink," Charlie said, smirking at her. "Speaking of which, I’m off to the bar to get a refill… anybody want anything?"

"Not me, the waitress will be around soon enough," said Bill.

"No, I’m fine," Chelsea said.

Charlie shrugged and headed off, with an oddly purposeful walk.  _Tell me Charlie is not up to anything that will make this situation any worse._

"So… " Chelsea drew his attention back. "I can’t help but notice that your exceedingly adorable little brother is not too particular about the gender of his dance partners," she said, gesturing to the dance floor behind her, where Percy was now dancing happily with an attractive dark-haired man.

_Bloody hell. I think we just outed you Percy, please don’t kill us tomorrow._ "Yeah, we were having a very… enlightening conversation before with him earlier."

Chelsea looked chagrined. "Oh…. That would be why you shot me the ‘die bitch die’ look when I came over before?"

"Sorry ‘bout that," Bill said with some embarrassment. "We’d just gotten the name of his crush at Hogwarts out of him… Quidditch Captain of all people, and were hoping to get a bit more detail out of him. Didn’t sound like he’d ever told the guy how he felt… or for that matter told anyone. We brought him here because he broke up with his girlfriend of three years, and Mum was worried. Figured the only way to get personal information out of Percy would be to get him a bit sloshed…. Somehow the alcohol hit him a little harder than we expected. But wow, is he ever forthcoming when he’s drunk!"

Chelsea looked at him in disbelief. "Wait, you got your brother drunk on purpose? You creep!"

"Hey! He won’t talk about that kind of stuff normally, what were we going to do?"

"Men!" Chelsea exclaimed in exasperation. "So no one knows Percy’s gay, or at least bi? Because if he wants to keep it a secret, you’d better get him out of here now! Anybody that talks to him is falling hard for the big blue eyes… not to mention the rest of the package… and he doesn’t seem to mind!"

"Way too late for that, I think," replied Bill sheepishly.  _She IS right… but how was I to know what would happen?_  "Honest, I only meant us to spend the night here talking, maybe if he was feeling brave, send him off to dance with a nice girl. I had no idea Percy HAD this much of a secret life… didn’t even know he could dance, let alone that he loved to. And I hate to break it to you, but I’ve never looked at Percy and thought ‘babe-magnet’… I admit Charlie did a good job with the hair and clothes… but THIS…" he gestured bewilderedly.

Chelsea looked at him for a moment before starting to laugh. "I can’t believe your mum sent him out with you guys…. And as for the dancing, he’s learning some of it as he goes along. He’s an amazingly fast learner."

"We know. He was hell as a toddler because he only had to see a thing once and he could mimic it. Learned to open magical locks, some minor spells, and taught himself to read. Mum couldn’t decide whether to be impressed or terrified… I think after he learned to unlock the childproof oven lock she went with terror. Seriously though Chelsea, he’s drunk, and I’m worried he’s going to be learning an awful lot of new things this evening if we don’t keep an eye on him. I am WAY out of my depth here! Chelsea! Stop laughing! This is serious!"

The woman was howling with laughter, pointing a shaking finger at Bill… "Your big plan didn’t include this, huh?" She got herself back in control, and grinned at him. "I concede that you have a valid concern. If I didn’t think Percy was just the sweetest thing ever, I’d leave you to deal with it. Honestly, dressing him up like that and setting him loose all vulnerable and honest… what did you THINK was going to happen? Since I do, however, I’ll help if I can. What exactly is it you want me to do?" She was snickering again by the end.

Bill glared darkly at her.  _All right, I suppose I do deserve it._  "Maybe –" he began, with a hopeful look at her. "Maybe you could pass along word that he’s here with his extremely overprotective older brothers, who get violent if he’s out of their sight?"

Chelsea grinned at him "Okay, that ought to intimidate a few of them. For what it’s worth, he’s already turned down three offers to go somewhere ‘quieter’, citing that he is here with his brothers."

"THREE offers? Who were they? I’m going to kill them… can’t they see he’s out of it?" Bill fumed.

"Easy boy," said Chelsea. "I’m not telling. Can’t blame them for trying anyway… and for the record, yes, one of them was a guy. I’m just saying, you may not have to worry too much, he seems to want to stay here and dance, not head off into err… unexplored territory."

"YOU can laugh, this isn’t your fault," grumbled Bill. "Okay, I’m going to go over and give the bouncer orders not to let Percy out of here without checking with me. You spread the word that we’re mass murderers escaped from Azkaban to take our little brother out for an evening of dancing. And ONLY dancing."

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so – so – bewildered" Chelsea laughed. "I’ll go pass on word of your dark threats, and as a special favour, I’ll even go tell Lottchen to watch her hands over there."

Bill looked. "Dear lord! Yes, do that! She’s too pretty to kill…"

"I’ll tell her you said so," Chelsea said, dancing off towards them, collecting several admirers along the way. Bill stared after her for a moment, admiring.  _It really is a pity that the girl is completely insane._

"Chelsea gone again?" Charlie asked as he took his seat again, carefully setting his overflowing tankard on the table.

"Yeah, I asked her to pass along word that we were fanatically overprotective of our brother. Just going to see if the bouncer will agree to not let him out of here without us."

"Good idea. But already taken care of. I asked Wallace not to after I had a chat with the bartender. According to him, our little brother is the talk of the place… between his dancing, his Weasley good looks," Charlie paused to give his brother a mock preening look, which was met with a snort, "and apparently his charming personality, he’s gaining a lot of fans."

Bill slumped back down into his seat, and rested his head in his hands. "We’ve created a monster. And if Mum doesn’t kill us tomorrow, Percy will probably finish us off."

"Aw, calm down Bill… he’s just dancing… I can’t remember seeing Percy have this much fun in YEARS… besides, things should be getting interesting any time now…" He finished the sentence with a tone of voice Bill associated with the Twins having set up a particularly good prank and waiting for a victim.

"Charlie…. What have you done?"

"You don’t want to know."

"Right." Bill sighed, and resumed keeping a watchful eye of his very popular younger brother.

  


* * *

  


It was some time later, when Charlie smacking him on the shoulder roused him from his bemused reverie. "Bill! Bill! Wake up will you!" Tearing his eyes away from where Percy was laughing and being taught an entirely new dance by a group of doting women, he glanced up to see that Charlie was not alone.

"This is my friend, Ed Blake," said Charlie. "He’s the seeker for the Puddlemere United Quidditch Team."

Bill sat up, heart sinking somewhere into the floor beneath him. He managed to stammer out a polite "Nice to meet you" before turning his eyes to the 4... no, 5 other people smiling politely at him.

"This is Karen," said Ed, pointing to the first woman. Another woman and two men were named before Bill heard the name he’d been waiting for… "… And that’s Oliver Wood."

"Nice to meet you," Bill muttered. He looked Oliver over carefully, to see what it was Percy had liked about him. Tall, broad-shouldered, with sandy hair and brown eyes. He didn’t strike Bill as being any particular beauty, but he had an open, friendly face, and carried himself with quiet self-confidence.

"You must be Percy’s older brothers?" he asked, and Bill jumped, realizing they must have been introduced at some point.

"Yeah, you were one of Percy’s roommates, weren’t you?"

"Yeah, back in the old days" Oliver smiled at him. "How’s he doing?"

_Well, he’s asking about Percy, so that’s a good thing maybe…Jesus Charlie, what if he’s not interested? This could blow up in everyone’s face!_  "He’s doing good… he’s here actually…. Just off dancing."

Oliver gave him an incredulous look. "Dancing?"

Bill just nodded and pointed him out.  _Dancing with Chelsea again thank goodness._  He watched Oliver’s eyes travel up his oblivious brother’s body as he danced, a look of shock etched on his face.

_I can’t tell if that’s ‘oh my god Percy Weasley, Head Boy of Hogwarts and Model Employee at the Ministry is dancing’ or ‘oh my god Percy Weasley is still gorgeous and he’s dancing’. Curse-breaking is easy compared to this._  Oliver, he noticed, seemed unable to take his eyes off Percy….

"I didn’t know that Percy danced… I mean, that he liked dancing – that is – umm… he looks different" Oliver sounded completely bewildered.

"Oh, you can find out all sorts of things about Percy if you spike his drink," Charlie contributed cheerfully. "Among them his secret love of dancing."

Oliver turned around and shot Charlie a look of horror. "You spiked Percy’s drink? Are you mad? He doesn’t drink at all! What did you give him!"

He doesn’t drink? Oh. Well, guess that explains how fast it kicked in. Oops.

"Well, he’s not exactly the communicative sort," Charlie continued as if he hadn’t heard the reproach. "It was our brotherly duty to find out why he dumped Penelope."

""He broke up with the bit-umm... Penelope?" Oliver blurted.  _Oh ho… so we’re not the only ones who didn’t like Penny. He looks like he’s about to faint from shock… maybe we should have spiked HIS drink before Charlie threw this at him. Not that I had any input ANYWAY. When did I lose control of this situation?_

"Yeah. Seriously, if you ever want to hear a funny story, get him drunk and ask him how he got into THAT relationship. " Charlie gave Oliver a benignly paternal smile, his eyes flickering to the something just beyond Oliver’s shoulder. Bill looked.  _Gods have mercy._

"You took my spot," Percy said plaintively, prodding Oliver in the shoulder.

Bill watched as Oliver took a deep breath before looking up at Percy with a smile. "I’ll just slide over then," he said.

Percy’s face broke into the most brilliant smile Bill had ever seen. "Oliver! What’re you doing here?" He asked, as he sat in the small space Oliver had freed up on the bench.

_Huh, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone completely lose the ability to communicate,_ Bill thought as he watched Oliver search frantically for words, apparently unaware of the way he was staring at Percy, taking in the tight T-shirt and spiky hair.  _Oh, this is promising._  For the first time since Oliver had arrived, Bill started to relax.

"Charlie…" Ed chuckled, so quietly that Bill barely heard him. "You might have warned me… we could have at least given him a drink…. Poor Oliver’s stone-cold sober."

Oliver managed to stammer something about "out with teammates" as he made an impressive attempt not to look at Percy as Percy leaned across him to reclaim his drink.

"Oh. I’m here because my brothers have evidently lost their minds." Percy, having returned to his seat, favoured Oliver with a charming smile, before taking a gulp of his drink.

Oliver blinked. "Oh. I’d wondered… they do seem a bit mad…. I just assumed you were the only sane Weasley."

Percy considered that. "You may be right," he said with a bright grin. Then he leaned in closer to stage whisper "I think they may have spiked my drink. I may have to kill them tomorrow I expect."

Oliver, clearly uncertain with the sudden proximity, settled for clapping him briskly on the shoulder, and saying, with a conspiratorial smile "Well, if you need assistance, you know I’m always happy to help."

Oh no. Percy’s practically in his lap and he’s all ‘we’re just mates’? Maybe I’m misreading the situation. But hell, I never looked at any of my male friends the way he was looking at Percy a minute ago. Still is actually.

Percy leaned in a bit closer, fixing Oliver with an innocent look, the combination of which caused poor Oliver Wood to lose the last of his composure and blush a vivid red. Percy noticed it, Bill decided, as his brother’s lips quirked and he started to say something to the other man.

"Percy, you promised to dance with me again." The dark-haired man Percy had danced with earlier was standing at his side, gazing down at the redhead, clearly smitten.

"Oh. Err… yes, I did, but perhaps now isn’t –" Percy stammered, looking dismayed, and more like himself than he had since his first drink of the evening.

"Ah now, a promise is a promise," the man said, drawing Percy to his feet and wrapping an arm around his waist to lead him to the dance floor. Percy managed to throw a helpless and apologetic look back at Oliver.

The entire table fell silent for about 10 seconds before Oliver turned shocked eyes on Bill. "That was a guy!" he blurted.

"Excellent observation, Oliver!" The woman sitting next to him said.  _Karen, isn’t it?_  "I knew there was a reason you made the team!" Several of the others chuckled, clearly amused by Oliver’s surprise. Seeing Oliver was beyond words, she glanced down the table at Bill and Charlie. "By the way, your brother is just SOOO cute. I just want to take him home with me."

Bill groaned. "They all do! That’s the bloody problem!"

Oliver looked like his world had just turned upside down. He had turned around in his seat and was watching Percy and the man Bill was mentally referring to as The Interloper. "Percy is dancing with a guy," he said clearly.

I hope he’s not normally this dim. He is a keeper…they tend to get a lot of head injuries.

"Yeah, it seems Percy’s Bi, and never saw fit to mention it to anyone. Had some big secret crush on a guy back at Hogwarts… Quidditch player or something" Charlie remarked with just a trace of forced casualness.

Bill began rubbing his temples, trying to stave off the violent headache he could feel building.  _Charlie, why don’t you just say ‘hey, he’s got a major thing for you there Oliver! Surprise!’. Even I could have handled that better!_

"Oh." Was all Oliver said as he turned back around to the dance floor. Immediately his teammates began asking, by various facial contortions and gestures, if Oliver was the guy. Charlie’s silent nod seemed to send them into paroxysms of glee, as they all turned and ‘discretely’ began to watch Oliver.

Well…close knit group I guess, and they now have gossip for months. And poor Percy has absolutely NO secrets. Matchmaking is BAD… Charlie should know that by now!

Oliver was looking very tense, and Bill followed his gaze to where Percy was dancing. The interloper had pulled him close, and the hand on his back was slipping lower. Percy reached around and moved the man’s hand back to its proper place.

"Hey!" Bill exclaimed. "I thought I made it clear that anyone taking advantage of Percy’s current state died a painful death already! He just met him for Christ’s sake."

Oliver looked at him. "Just met him tonight? They’re not -?"

Oh! He thought they were a couple? He didn’t even GET the pointed statement Charlie just made?

"No, Percy is completely, totally single." He frowned, noticing the wandering hand had reached its goal again. Charlie grabbed him by the elbow and shook his head. Bill glared at him, trying to convey that it was time to intervene.

Oliver broke this silent battle of wills. "Aren’t you going to stop him?" He was clearly outraged.  _You and me both kid._

"Percy’s a big boy, he can take care of himself," Charlie said calmly.

"You got him drunk and then leave him at the mercy of a complete stranger who just wants to have sex with him? What kind of people are you!" Furious, he launched himself out of his seat towards the dance floor.

"Yes, Charlie, what kind of people ARE we?" Bill fumed. "Why the hell can’t I go punch that guy out! Everybody knows Percy’s drunk, he’s clearly taking advantage!"

"We’re the kind of people who want to let Oliver go to the rescue and then deal with Percy’s gratitude. Which should be enough for the other bloody shoe to drop for this guy. Who knew Percy would like someone this dense?" Charlie shook his head in honest bafflement.

Bill stared at him a moment before turning back to the dance floor.  _I give up._ The Interloper slunk off quite quickly when confronted with the seriously enraged Oliver Wood. The smile that crossed Percy’s face when he saw Oliver probably didn’t hurt in getting the ‘not interested’ across.

Karen startled him by giggling. She looked at him, and said, "Oh come on, that was ¾ Knight in Shining Armour, ¼ sheer jealousy." She drew out the final two words with great glee.

Percy didn’t seem perturbed by the intervention, and in fact seemed to regard it as a novel way of cutting in, as he wrapped his arms around Oliver and continued dancing.  _Hmm… and Oliver doesn’t seem to be objecting at all, now does he. Maybe Charlie was right._

Ed smacked Charlie across the back of the head.

"Ow!" Charlie complained. "What was that for!"

" **Come on down for a drink**  he says,  **oh, bring some of the other players too if you like. You’ve got Oliver Wood on the reserve team, don’t you?**  he says. You might have given us some warning you know, before you launch into the Temptation of the Reserve Keeper!" Despite the exasperated tone of voice, he looked amused.

"I didn’t want to say anything, okay, until I saw his reaction!" Charlie protested. "For all I knew he might have been completely straight and uninterested. I was going for subtle."

Bill stared at his brother for all of three seconds before collapsing into laughter. The rest of the table followed. "Subtle?" he gasped at his brother, "THAT was subtle?"

"Hey," Charlie said, offended. "You’re whole plan consisted of getting him drunk! This worked just fine! You wouldn’t even have found out Oliver’s name without me!"

"Err…. What you said about your brother making his own choices and all. You really planning on letting him go home with whomever he pleases?" interrupted the second woman, whose name Bill couldn’t recall.

"No" he growled firmly. "He’s going home. To his own bed. Alone!"

"Oh. Umm… you might want to – " blushing, she gestured towards the dance floor where Percy and Oliver were…. Dancing?

"Where the hell did he learn THAT," Bill nearly shrieked.

"Oh, Belinda and some of the others taught him that earlier," Chelsea said from behind him. "Apparently he changed his mind about it being too embarrassing. Well, if he’s planning on seducing that guy, that should do it!"

"Seducing him?" Charlie looked shell-shocked. " They’re practically –" he spluttered, at a loss for words.

"They’re just dancing you moron," Chelsea said, moving around the table to take Oliver’s spot. Both Bill and Charlie instinctively leaned to see around her.  _Still dancing. I suppose at least I can say their hands are nowhere inappropriate. But that’s – that’s - At least, even this drunk, Percy has the grace to be blushing._

"Mum’s going to kill us!" he moaned.

"It was your idea to get him drunk!" wailed Charlie, instantly regressing.

"Yeah, but this place, the outfit, and the bringing in of his Hogwarts dream-date was ALL you, and I’m not going down for it, no way."

"You – you TRAITOR! You didn’t stop me either, Mum’s not going to let you off lightly"

"BOYS!" Chelsea interrupted. "You already paid the bouncer off, they’re not going anywhere, so I don’t see the problem."

"No problem?" breathed Bill, "NO PROBLEM?? Have you looked over there recently?"

Chelsea snickered. "Calm down will you, I promise, Percy is actually sticking to a proper formal dance there. And gathering quite the audience. Nothing is going to happen. Well, a lot of people are going to go home with all new fantasy material, but other than that!"

"Chelsea, that is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever heard you say." Charlie looked at her, eyes wide and respectful.

"Wow, I had no idea Oliver had that kind of willpower," Karen said dreamily.

Bill grabbed Chelsea and pulled her around to his side of the table so that she was no longer blocking his view. She yelped in protest and smacked his arm as she settled on the bench beside him. Sure enough, the dance was over, and Oliver was trying to disentangle himself as the audience clapped and whistled. Percy was allowing it, but regarding him with a look of great amusement. They were both blushing though.

Thank god. They can just sit down here at the table for a few minutes, then we grab Percy and get out of here while we still can. I guess they do make a cute couple, in a weird way… when they’re not… dancing like that. Maybe I can let Oliver live. Mind you, if he doesn’t send an owl tomorrow, I will hunt him down and kill him. You don’t dance with my little brother like that and then not call him the next day to ask him out.

Bill fixed the duo with a stern look as the approached the table hand in hand. They were both smiling a little dazedly, still breathing hard from the dancing.

"Finish your drink Percy, we’re heading out in a minute," he said, as they sat down.

"Oh, I don’t think so," replied Percy calmly.

"What?!" squeaked Charlie. Oliver looked down at Percy with surprise.

"I haven’t seen Oliver in ages. We have to catch up on all the news of our fellow classmates. Talk about Quidditch and stuff. You go ahead."

"Umm…Percy, that wasn’t a suggestion. You are going with us." Bill said firmly. At least, he hoped it was firmly.

Percy gave them an amused look and leaned in to murmur something to Oliver. Oliver looked slightly alarmed, and with a wary gaze at Bill and Charlie launched into a whispered argument. Percy looked at him with a look Bill hadn’t seen since Percy was 4 and had been informed it was undignified. It was the look that got him cookies from Mum, allowed to tag along after his older brothers, and out of trouble with Dad every time. Oliver was clearly not immune as he visibly melted. Looking around a little desperately he said, "Okay, as long as Bill thinks it’s okay" He looked satisfied at that, clearly thinking he’d passed the buck.

"Bill won’t mind," Percy said, smiling up at him again with the sweet smile he so rarely showed. Then abruptly, he reached across the table, grabbed Bill by the shirt, and tugged him so he was half standing. Then he leaned in close and whispered two words.

Bill went white.  _No way. Not possible._ His fingers twitched as he cast the discrete spell to confirm.  _Oh my god._ "Umm… okay. Have fun. Umm… try to stay out of trouble, I’m begging you here"

Percy rolled his eyes and stood up, pulling Oliver with him. "We’re leaving now. It was nice… err... Well, I don’t think I actually met you, as such, - " he broke off in confusion. Taking a deep breath he started again. "Bye"

"Bye" everyone chorused, confused.

Oliver was staring at Percy like he’d never seen him before. "They’re leaving it to me to act with some sort of honour here? You’ve got to be kidding, I can’t even bloody THINK when he looks at me!" He cast a pleading look at Bill, who merely waved at him.

"Go with my blessings, just he’d better be home by the morning of the 24th" Bill muttered, still shaking his head. Chelsea was shaking with silent laughter beside him, and he glanced her way.  _She knows! I blame her… I’m handing HER over to Mum when she realizes we came home without her precious baby Percy. SHE can explain._

Charlie regained his voice as Percy and Oliver headed through the crowd towards the door. "No! Bill, no, we don’t give our blessing are you crazy? Percy’s drunk!"

"No," said Bill deliberately. "He is not."

"What?" Charlie exclaimed in shock.

"Percy… is slightly tipsy, but well in command of all his faculties."

"We spiked his drink! He was beyond drunk within the first half hour!"

"Yes, yes he was." Bill sighed. "And sometime since then, that has changed. I don’t know, I think we should ask Chelsea here," he said half bitterly.

Chelsea was still giggling as she got up and moved back across the table. _Probably so she’s got a better chance at getting away if I decide to kill her._

"What was I supposed to do?" she attempted to keep a straight face, as all eyes at the table were on her. "I went to dance with him after talking to you," she gestured at Bill, " and the little sweetie tells me he thinks his brothers spiked his drink, and while he’s having fun, he’d prefer to be able to think a little more clearly. So I put a slow-acting sobrietus spell on him!"

Bill stared in amazement. "A sobrietus spell? You can successfully do one?" They were notoriously hard to manage, and often ended up just making the hangover worse. But he’d checked himself, and Percy was in fact sober.

"Yeah, it’s a specialty for me," Chelsea smiled.

I can’t believe she did this. I can’t believe PERCY did this… this means he was at least semi-sober by the time Oliver arrived! So the dancing… he had to have been sober, and that means… shit! No wonder Percy was blushing!

A snicker escaped Bill and Charlie turned to stare at him. The snicker grew until Bill couldn’t stop himself as he put his head down on the table and howled.

"Bill? Have you gone mad?" Charlie asked with real concern.

"Percy’s sober. He was sober for that – that – dancing - and" Bill choked out through the laughter "Oliver’s face – when he finds out!"

Charlie’s face went through a variety of expressions by the end of the statement, till at last he joined his brother in the hysterical laughter.

Mum’s going to kill us. In the mean time, I am going to get very, very drunk.

A waitress appeared at his side as if summoned by the thought. "Oh hey, can I get another Guinness?"

"Sure. Wallace, at the door wants to know if he’s to let your brother leave or if you want to come collect him."

Bill collapsed in laughter again, much to the woman’s confusion.

"Just tell him to let them leave," chuckled Charlie, and she went off to deliver the message.

  


* * *

  


Almost 24 hours later, Percy Weasley quietly opened the front door of the Burrow, and crept through the living room towards the stairs.

Bill glanced at his watch.  _3 am, December 24 th … close enough I guess._ "Hullo, Percy. Have a good time?" he asked quietly, from his position on the couch. He nudged Charlie beside him to wake him up.

Percy froze, less than a foot away from the stairs. Charlie sat up and yawned. "Yes, Little Brother, how’ve you been for the entire day you were unaccounted for and rendered incapable of sending an owl…."

Percy turned around slowly, and with the air of a soldier facing a firing squad trudged over to sit in the chair across from them. "You knew where I was, I didn’t think it was necessary to send an owl."

"True enough," said Bill cheerfully. "You didn’t answer the main question though. Everything okay?"

Percy blushed so deeply that Bill could see it even in the dim firelight, and ducked his head. "Everything’s fine," he said quietly. He sounded more content than Bill could ever remember him sounding.

"Good. That’s all I needed to know," said Bill warmly. "The other reason we’re lying in wait is that we thought you might like a warning of what we told everyone about your err… disappearance."

Percy winced.  _Uh huh, didn’t think of that last night, did you? You could be coming home to the whole family knowing the story, right from the schoolboy crush to the unexpected ‘I have a backbone and I’m heading off to Oliver’s place’ thing._ "We told Mum you ran into an old roommate and the two of you headed off to reminisce. She did get out of us that we got you drunk –" A conversation _I never want to have again, thank you._  "but that’s all. The twins recognized Oliver Wood from the description, but what you tell all of them, or don’t tell them, is your business."

Charlie nodded beside him and Percy gave them both a look of heartfelt gratitude. " Thank you! I – err… I’d rather not explain things right now, maybe after Christmas. I certainly don’t want the twins knowing until they are as far away from me as I can get them."

"THAT I can sympathize with," muttered Charlie, who had spent part of the day as a newt after accepting a ‘hangover cure’ from them. Chelsea had refused to use her sobrietus spell on them, citing that they deserved the hangovers they were going to have.

Percy gave them a brilliant smile and started to get up.

"Oh, and by the way Little Brother," said Charlie, mischief creeping into his voice. Percy paused and looked at him. "If you don’t own a turtleneck you’d better borrow one of mine for tomorrow."

Percy went beet red again, turned on his heel, and marched up the stairs, shaking his head.

There is no way that even Percy can hide this. He’s just too… happy. I say Mum has it out of him before breakfast. Fred and George are going to figure it out the first time he blushes at the sound of Oliver’s name. Well, Oliver seemed like a nice enough chap, perhaps he’ll be at Christmas dinner tomorrow.

The End  
  
---  
  
**Author's Note:**

> Caveat: I have no reason to think Penny is not a perfectly charming human being, in canon. But if Percy wasn't happy with her, even if the family wasn't really conscious of it, they probably wouldn't be her biggest fans. I'm imagining she found someone who did actually want to date her, and they later got married, and had a long and happy life together. :)


End file.
